So I was reading on planetcrap a friend's review of Okami and how it wasn't a bad eight hour game except that it wasn't eight hours long. That the game has some flaws, namely a boss level that sounds pretty damn annoying and it got me angry. And we all know you won't like me when I'm green…er, angry.
Fuck Okami. And fuck Psychonauts. For the love of all that is holy I'm so tired of hearing how good those games are, Psychonauts in particular. Yes, Psychonauts had some cool stuff in it. Yes, some of the bosses that I played were extremely cool. Yes, some of the levels were very cool looking and very different. But here's the kicker… it was still just a jazzed up platformer, and hence, HAD A LOT OF BORING PARTS THAT REQUIRED YOU TO DO BORING PLATFORM THINGS (collect these things, run around and look for this thing, get 10 of these, etc, etc) TO GET TO THE COOL PARTS. It wasn't the end all be all of games. It didn't drastically revolutionize gaming and it wasn't a tragedy that it didn't sell well.
I'm SO tired of hearing oh the game industry is broken, oh the horror, oh how could it be, etc, etc, etc, etc. It wasn't a stellar game. It was a decent to good game broken apart with typical platform monotony. Hot fucking damn, get a grip people. Reviewers, I'm mainly talking to you. Why do you slather praise all over a middling game? Why do you let your review be influenced by other reviews (as is very much the case), why do you let things like Okami and Black and White get through to print with great scores, when the game isn't really great?
So, to all reviewers toting the line, to all internet denizens just agreeing anytime you mention Psychonauts you have to mention what a sad state of affairs gaming is in that this game wasn't more successful, and to everyone out there who believes them and just continues along the story, BITE ME. This is nothing to do with if you personally had fun with Psychonauts, this is do with it not being the second coming of games and NOT being a huge travesty that it didn't sell better.
That is all. For the moment.
What Would Matt Do: smack the shit out of people that talk about the travesty of Psychonauts.