What Would Matt Do

Yeah, E3 happened this week. Weeee. I so wanted to go to the old E3, the craziness that it was. This new one…well, Diablo 3 was announced before it, Dragon Age was…updated (?) before it and Bungie tried to release some new hype, but it didn’t work out to well for them.

So at the actual E3 we saw demos of some games we hadn’t before, got some updates news, saw a lot of bad videos that told us nothing and not too much exciting we didn’t already know.

Wait you say then, why are you posting at all? The answer is because I can, it’s my site and I’ll cry it up if I want to…oh, and because game reviews only take 30 minutes on the E3 floor these days. That’s pure awesome and I thought I’d share Earnest’s review/hands on of Fallout 3 (the as of yet, unreleased Fallout 3):

If the Fallout universe were only an aesthetic, Bethesda would have completely nailed it with the upcoming Fallout 3.

Unfortunately, as my half an hour with the game a few moments ago demonstrated, all the external pieces are there, but the charm that made the series such a classic is almost entirely lacking.

He spent a total of 30 minutes with the game. 30. It’s already been decided, within that 30 minutes, the entire game is loacking in charm. Oh, and they completely nailed aesthetics. But, you ask, how could he know that in a mere half an hour of game time?

The entire world is decrepit and properly nihilistic, the characters you encounter are simultaneously dirty and pretty and every sound — from gunshots to the barking of attack dogs — sounds simply fantastic.

Oh, he somehow managed to see the entire world in that 30 minutes. Oh, well, nevermind, I’m just being silly, he’s already seen the whole game. Oh, my bad. So, now that he’s seen the whole game, the entire world, what’s the verdict?

The key problem with the game though is in the writing. It really feels like someone wrote a fanfic based on the Fallout universe and somehow got the funding to create a game based on it. Though the story and characters are suitably gritty and conflicted, none of them are terribly likeable and the entire thing simply feels like it’s trying too hard to adhere to the tenets of its predecessors.

Man, he not only saw the entire world, he saw all of the writing. This guy is fucking awesome. Why he doesn’t work for PC Gamer or The Edge (heck, since they don’t give reviewer names, he could be the one guy working there) doing every single review on his own.

Well, that settles it folks. The game is an empty hollow shell of a game. It looks good, but it’s got no charm/soul. Maybe Betheseda should just go ahead and can it at this point. I bet they feel dumb now.

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s not the makers of Fallout 3 that should be feeling dumb at this point. Maybe.

What Would Matt Do: I’d hire this guy away from Wired RIGHT AWAY. He’s a fucking super human reviewer and his talents need to be put to work for a true games mag/site, not just for Wired.

Yeah, Microsoft makes noises about supporting the PC gaming industry from time to time. They even joined the PC Gaming Alliance. Do they really care though? Do they really want PC gaming to succeed as a whole, or do they just want the game they release to still have decent market after they’ve been on the 360 for awhile…? Evidence points to the latter:

"If we launch a game that is on 360 and PC simultaneously, we basically shoot ourselves in the foot by allowing the German market to choose to play the PC version – because they are more likely to buy that than spend their money on the Xbox 360."

"If we launched a Halo game on PC and 360 in Germany simultaneously, 80 per cent of sales would be on the PC," he added.

Hmmm…that’s pretty damning. I don’t even need to translate that. Based on that statement, what they’d really like is for everyone to have enough money to buy a 360, buy all their games on the 360 first and then buy them on the PC too. Or at the very least, just buy the 360 version. So instead of releasing games on multiple platforms, they push their main focus, the 360. This shouldn’t be surprising to anyone with half a brain.

So they are happy to support PC gaming as long as it’s not cutting into their real business in games, the XBox. I wonder what that makes studios like Ensemble feel…are they making games that are now 360 first, then PC, like most other Microsoft studios?

What Would Matt Do: I use Microsoft technology in work and play, constantly. Some of their decisions aren’t making sense though. Word to MS, quit competing against yourself. It’s not helping us, the gamer/consumer.

This is amazing stuff. Maybe it won’t be as wicked awesome (this is for you, sweets) as it appears on the videos, but damn me if I’m not excited. I don’t remember the last time I was as interested in a remake of a childhood game as I am for this one.

And even if you haven’t played Bionic Commando in the past (and if you haven’t, you probably shouldn’t call yourself a gamer), this game bring multiple multiplayer modes (there was no multiplayer in the original) to the table along with what looks like a particulary tight single player game. I’m in lust without ever having touched the controller’s colorful buttons to use my mechanical arm of doom.

What Would Matt Do: I’d utter something like, "Daddy likes!"

For a man sized game! Well, it could be. The screen shots say it should be. My inner gamer is telling me it will be (could someone tell them to shut up already, they sure do annoy my inner cranky bitch).

The game? Bionic Commando Rearmed. The price? $10. That’s awesomesauce if there ever was some.

Man, that trailer alone has me all excited. Can someone please allow me to give my $10 already so I can play this game? plskthx.

I’ve missed all kinds of news while I was on…hiatus? I don’t know what to call it, but it’s done now. And I didn’t really miss the news. I’ve followed the Dyack suit, the sploding 360s, broken toys (as any good stalker does) and all kinds of rumblings through out the industry. It’s actually been a pretty news worthy time I missed out on whining about. Well, don’t fear, I’m back, I like to wear black sometimes and the prisoners will not be taken! Maybe.

As for today’s entry, it’s apparently very good to be a 360 owner, if you don’t mind a bit of a break in your gaming when your 360 dies (mine hasn’t died yet, but you know, it’s considered it once or twice). Why, do you ask, is it good to be a 360 owner even if it might eat your cat at any point? Because it’s the system you’re going to want to play GTA IV on. That’s right, not only is GTA IV going to be released simultaneously on the 360 and the PS3, but 360 is the system you should own it for if, and get this quote, “you want the complete experience with the episodes”. I find much awesome in that. Why? Well, because I’m a 360 owner and don’t want to buy a PS3 while they still cost bajillions and have no must buy games as of yet.

From Games Radar:

“They’re identical games,” Simon continued. “We’re not hardware makers, and we’re not like a pawn between these companies, we try not to be as much as we can. We make great games for people to enjoy on whichever system they want.

“But I guess if you want the complete experience with the episodes, then yeah, you should buy the 360, I suppose,” Simon said.

So they are completely identical except for that part about it being the complete experience on the 360. I love it.

What Would Matt Do: Well, it’s good to be back and since it is, I’ll just say, I’m so looking forward to GTA IV and leave it that. Also, I missed my three loyal readers! Nerd hugs for everyone!