What Would Matt Do

Own a PS3? Do you like pretending your PS3 is a PC? Do you like games about Devils that May Cry for the fourth time? Then I’ve got the game for you!

Devil May Cry 4 has a brand new feature in it, exclusively for PS3 owners…a 20+ minute install! That’s right, you too can “go make a sandwich and grab a soda” while waiting to play that brand new console game you just bought. Not only that, but:

While the game is loading, you get to watch a really nifty series of screens that completely catch you up on the DMC4 backstory. Think of it as compressing the last three “seasons” into a single info blast, accompanied by some fantastic DMC artwork. It’s great for those new to the series and also a good refresher to serious fans (you can also check out all these screens again later in the Library mode).

That’s right, they added in a slide show for you to watch while you’re waiting for your console game to install. That’s awesome! Well, except for the fact that you can’t skip said slide show, you can’t skip the 20 minute install and so on…but least they aren’t making you switch disks:

Wah! The game takes 20 minutes to install the first time. Wah! Have you ever played a PC game? At least we aren’t making you shuffle multiple discs into a ROM drive, or continuously click “Yes!” on a series of endless Windows dialog boxes. Installing on a console may seem like a weird idea, but there’s a real benefit. Unreal Tournament also has an option to install files onto your PS3; I’ve done it and it makes a great game even better.

Wah is right, you got damn retard. I love that Chris Kramer compares it to a PC install. Yeah, because that’s one of the best parts of a PC game, the install. I’m so glad they brought that over to the consoles. Maybe next we can get driver and directx issues? What a load of shit.

This is just lazy programmers. They could have made it load the first level or two and then had the rest load in the background or even just had a slower load times with an optional install. Instead, we’ve got yet another backsliding by consoles (remember when we didn’t have patches for our console games…).

Really though, where is Sony on this? How did this game get approved for their system with 20+ minute install? What kind of asshat signed off on that? Hopefully the kind that no longer has a job.

Oh, and the PA guys tell me the Bitches love Sanskrit.

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What Would Matt Do: What did Tycho say a bit back? Oh yeah, retard rodeo. That’s basically what this is. People releasing poorly designed software and then defending it with comments of it’s just like the PC. That’s like the world championship of retard rodeos.

I admit, I don’t often stop to consider the fashion of the character I’m playing. They either look cool or interesting or sexy or funny or not. But then again, I’m not Tim Schafer sadly enough. If I were, I’d obviously dress better at the least:

So, on his left side, he tucked the shirt in, to show his trim figure and stylish belt buckle. “What a handsome young man,” you might say, “If he gets that shirt washed, he may date my daughter.” But his right side is untucked, like the shirt of a wild man, a renegade, a scoundrel. “What is that guy up to? Why is his shirt untucked? Does he not give a damn about me and my rules?”

These are his comments after playing Uncharted. I admit, they weren’t my comments after seeing that game, but you know, maybe I’m missing something. Maybe I’m not seeing the inner workings of the design. Now I start to wonder, did the Uncharted guys spend a lot of time thinking about the shirt? Did they have meetings on whether it should be fully tucked or not tucked at all? Were there angry emails that went back and forth about the color, the design, the tuckedness of it all? Or did they just stumble upon the “mullet” of character design?

Now I have to take it a step beyond that. Did the Gears team think about the armor they had the guys in (I’m guessing not much beyond, “that’s awesome, dude!”)? Why did the Gears people dress that one girl they showed in a cut scene in clothes, in a war zone, where as all the guys were dressed in some sort of super futuristic armor (a pet peeve of a friend of mine)?

What about those damn WoW bastards? Did they honestly sit down and consider how hideous their armor looked, even when a full set it made and think that was great? It’s Blizzard so they must of had user testings, focus meetings, and more. How did the mish mash sillyness that is the WoW armor/clothes setup pass whatever QA they have?

Really, how much work goes into character design and the clothes they wear? I’m assuming it’s different at each company, but I wonder how much real thought is put it into something so obviously important. Heck for that matter, do companies think it’s important or do they just have a guy throw some designs up and one gets picked and that’s that?

So many questions, so few answers.

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What Would Matt Do: What would I do? I think the question is, what wouldn’t I do.

I’ve missed all kinds of news while I was on…hiatus? I don’t know what to call it, but it’s done now. And I didn’t really miss the news. I’ve followed the Dyack suit, the sploding 360s, broken toys (as any good stalker does) and all kinds of rumblings through out the industry. It’s actually been a pretty news worthy time I missed out on whining about. Well, don’t fear, I’m back, I like to wear black sometimes and the prisoners will not be taken! Maybe.

As for today’s entry, it’s apparently very good to be a 360 owner, if you don’t mind a bit of a break in your gaming when your 360 dies (mine hasn’t died yet, but you know, it’s considered it once or twice). Why, do you ask, is it good to be a 360 owner even if it might eat your cat at any point? Because it’s the system you’re going to want to play GTA IV on. That’s right, not only is GTA IV going to be released simultaneously on the 360 and the PS3, but 360 is the system you should own it for if, and get this quote, “you want the complete experience with the episodes”. I find much awesome in that. Why? Well, because I’m a 360 owner and don’t want to buy a PS3 while they still cost bajillions and have no must buy games as of yet.

From Games Radar:

“They’re identical games,” Simon continued. “We’re not hardware makers, and we’re not like a pawn between these companies, we try not to be as much as we can. We make great games for people to enjoy on whichever system they want.

“But I guess if you want the complete experience with the episodes, then yeah, you should buy the 360, I suppose,” Simon said.

So they are completely identical except for that part about it being the complete experience on the 360. I love it.

What Would Matt Do: Well, it’s good to be back and since it is, I’ll just say, I’m so looking forward to GTA IV and leave it that. Also, I missed my three loyal readers! Nerd hugs for everyone!